NIMBY or Denial?

By: Buntoro

I noticed a very interesting phenomenon recently when I confronted a former high school friend about her comments in regards to the recent Russian invasion of Ukraine. Previously, this friend has expressed doubts about the truth surrounding the invasion of Russia in Ukraine. Another friend, who is also a good friend of her, also often forwarded questionable news or sometimes obvious hoaxes regarding Russian invasion of Ukraine recently. One of the most questionable statement she provided in our high school WhatsApp Group chat is a list of possible fake news from the Ukrainian side (such as the Ghost of Kyiv) with a bold statement underneath that said, “All news from Western media are fake news.” As usual, I confronted the lady who forwarded these hoaxes many times but she continued refusing to admit her mistakes despite all the facts showing otherwise. Then another friend of mine boldly asked her, “Are you really not aware of the Russian’s  invasion of Ukraine?” Interestingly, the lady who often forwarded those hoaxes ignored the repeated questions and basically she refused to answer.

On the other hand, her friend who often defended her position finally answered after being asked a few times. Her answers are quite interesting. Firstly, she claimed that she does not care about the war, she only cares about her daily living. Then she later wrote that both my position and her friend’s  position on the war are correct, something that is mind boggling since I and her friend obviously had  conflicting arguments regarding the war. Her friend’s “unofficial” position is that the war never existed and Russia is simply being made scapegoat by the Western media, something that is so ridiculous that I had to confront her many times. Even after being confronted many times, her friend still continued forwarding fake news or opinions that claimed the Western media news are all fake news. But then again, this friend of mine refused to condemn her friend and merely claimed that the Ukraine war today does not have anything to do with her daily life.

For now, let’s  assume that it was true that she doesn’t  really care about the crimes against humanity in Ukraine these days. This make me wonder, why does human sometimes seems not to care about the sufferings or plights of others?

It’s  difficult to know the specific reasoning within anyone’s individual mind but we probably can try to understand it by using methods of sociology and/or psychology. After pondering my friend’s  answer, I began to ask myself a question: Why does she answer it that way? As I tried to understand it, I began to hypothesize some possible reasons and then found myself asking more questions: Does she not know the truth? I doubt that she does not know the truth because she appears to be very well informed in many things, from local news to COVID-19 issues, but somehow she claimed that she does not care about the Russian invasion in Ukraine. So, it’s very likely she follows the news and does not care about it much. Then, the next question is:  Does she really not care about it? Unfortunately, this is a very difficult question to answer.

Honestly, everyone have some sort of selfishness in their minds. We tend to care only for things that really involves our lives or our livelihoods. In America, this is evident from a common behavior called NIMBY (Not in My Backyard) mentality. According to Kinder from Encyclopedia Brittanica, NIMBY itself is a colloquial term used to convey one’s opposition to the locating of something considered as undesirable in one’s neighborhood. The phrase seems to have appeared first in the mid-1970s. It was used in the context of the last major effort by electric utilities to construct nuclear-powered generating stations, especially those located in Seabrook, New Hampshire and Midland, Michigan.[1]

Later on, similar NIMBY-style excuses are used by those in a middle or upper class communities who refused to allow for any development which they deem may affect their property values and/or their way of living. Using example from the homelessness issues which are still plaguing many cities in the United States, many communities reject development of homeless shelters and/or affordable housing by claiming fear of increased crime, traffic congestion, strain on sewers, overcrowded schools, lowered property values and “quality of life,” something that Axel-Lute (2021)  claim to be driven, more or less openly, by racism and classism.[2] McNee and Pojani (2021) from University of Queensland in Australia actually did some research about NIMBY and homelessness in San Francisco and found NIMBYism as one of the clear barriers in solving the homelessness problems in the area. McNee and Pojani observed that NIMBYism is clearly on display during public meetings.[3]

In light of recent Russian invasion in Ukraine, people from Asia, Africa and /or Middle East often ask why the Western media seems to care so much about Ukraine war but they seem to care less about the other war such as the Syrian war for example. To understand this, I have to coin another word similar to NIMBYism to explain it, that is NIMROD (Not involving Myself, Relatives and Other Dearest). NIMROD is an extended version of the NIMBY which may help explain why some people only care about things that matters to themselves, their relatives and/or their dearest ones. The Western media tend to focus more on issues that matters to their  own world or livelihoods. Ukraine case, for example, raised the NIMBY mentality for those in Western Europe and it also became an issue of NIMROD for the United States of America which is pretty much legally liable for the defense of NATO allied countries under the treaty.

Zelenskyy, the president of Ukraine, recently touched this mentality indirectly when he tried to explain why many countries don’t help them as much as they wanted. “The world’s leaders “are not against us,” Zelenskyy said. “They just live in a different situation. As long as they have not lost their parents and children, they do not feel the way we feel.”[4] Just like in the World War 2, the United States didn’t really care much about the German’s invasion in Europe at that time and didn’t get involved much in the war until their interest was attacked when the Pearl Harbor was bombed by Japanese forces. Honestly, I believe Ukraine probably won’t get as much notice from the Western media if it’s located in Central Asia or Latin America, but Ukraine’s location which is bordering many NATO’s allied countries had forced the Western Europeans to pay attention. The invasion of Ukraine may be the sign for more wars, just like how German’s invasion of Poland in September 1^st, 1939 was considered as the start of World War 2.

Honestly, NIMROD mentality does not exist only in the Western worldview but also in the Eastern ones. For example, many people in Indonesia or other Muslim majority countries often care more about the persecuted people groups who happened to be Muslims also, such as those of the Rohingyas than the persecutions involving non Muslims such as what happened in Ukraine now. While the West indeed condemned the persecutions of the Rohingyas by the Myanmar’s military junta, many people from the Muslim world consider that they didn’t do enough. The West’s condemnations and sanctions alone did not suffice, many wanted the West to help the Rohingyas either by supporting their independence or helping to relocate them. Several Asian nations with Muslims majority population such as Bangladesh, which is the neighbor of Myanmar, and even Malaysia and Indonesia which are farther away offered to accept Rohingya refugees. In fact, news of persecution of the Rohingyas in Indonesia had fueled many demonstrations from Muslim groups supported by some officials in Indonesia.[5]

Back to my friend’s answer, there is also a possibility that her answer is also a form of denials. Cherry (2021) defined denial as a type of defense mechanism that involves ignoring the reality of a situation to avoid anxiety. Denial can involve not acknowledging reality or denying the consequences of that reality. Some common signs of denials are: Refusing to talk about the problem, finding ways to justify one’s behavior, blaming others for the problems, and persisting in the behavior.[6] Sadly, those signs almost matched perfectly the behaviors of those two friends of mine. And unfortunately, many people in this world today are still in denials, believe it or not, from the believers of COVID-19 conspiracy theorists to the supporters of Donald Trump who still insist that the 2020 election is stolen, even to those who claim that Russia never invades Ukraine and/or hurting any civilians (like my two friends) while claiming that it is merely a conspiracy from the West. What makes it more unfortunate is that all those people who are in denials are often working together and combining their confused beliefs into more elaborate conspiracy theories.

It’s hard to admit that one is in denials honestly. Sigmund Freud was the first one who formulated the concept of denial as a defense mechanism. Burton (2019) wrote how Freud’s daughter, Anna, thought of it as immature ego defense mechanism. First, because it is especially used in childhood and adolescence, and, second, because its continued use into adulthood leads to unhealthy and unhelpful behaviours and a complete failure to engage or come to terms with reality. Burton admitted that it is often difficult to verify the existence of ego defense, but a person’s denial in the face of hard evidence to the contrary can easily be spotted by almost anyone else.[7] Now, whether my friend, who refused to believe that Russia is invading Ukraine and brutally killing many civilians in Ukraine, is in denial or not, it’s not for me to judge but I just hope that more people are willing to learn the truth and hopefully, the truth will set them free.

[1] Kinder, P. D. (n.d.) Not in My Backyard phenomen. Encyclopedia Britannica. Retrieved from  https://www.britannica.com/topic/Not-in-My-Backyard-Phenomenon

[2] Axel-Lute, M. (2021). What is NIMBYism and how do affordable housing developers respond to it? Shelterforce. Retrieved from https://shelterforce.org/2021/11/17/what-is-nimbyism-and-how-do-affordable-housing-developers-respond-to-it/

[3] McNee, G & Pojani, D. (2021). NIMBYism as a barrier to housing and social mix in San Francisco. Retrieved from J. Hous Built Environ. 2021 May 26 : 1–21. Doi: 10.1007/s10901-021-09857-6

[4] Kennedy, B.(Apr 15, 2022). Zelensky says repeating his requests to world leaders makes him “feel like Bill Murray’ in Groundhog Day. The Week via Yahoo News. Retrieved from https://news.yahoo.com/zelensky-says-repeating-requests-world-135929936.html

[5] Unknown (Sept 27, 2021). Solidaritas tanpa batas untuk Rohingya. Dinas Kesehatan Cianjur. Retrieved from https://dinkes.cianjurkab.go.id/berita/solidaritas-tanpa-batas-untuk-rohingya

[6] Cherry, K. (May 29, 2021). Denial as a defense mechanism. Very Well Mind. Retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/denial-as-a-defense-mechanism-5114461

[7] Burton, N. (2019). Self deception part 1:  Denial. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201901/self-deception-part-1-denial